family support

I have to say, the only thing that dissappointed me about the half marathon was that my family wasn't there. It was awesome to have Joe there. And really wonderful that Laura ran it too. But as I saw people along the course with signs for their kids or siblings or parents, I ached a little for my own cheering section. Instead my step-mother and father thought it would be a good idea to hold my younger sister's middle school graduation party on the same day. Of all the days in June and July, they chose the half marathon day. Now I could argue that I signed up for it months ago, and let them know about it. And they could argue that they didn't remember it was that day. But in the end, I didn't feel like my family cared that I was attempting a major accomplishment in my life.
Kind, sweet, and loyal Joe was there. He snapped pictures of me. Let me lean on him so that I didn't collapse after the race. He pushed me to drink water, and eat something. I can always count of him. And while he didn't vocalize it, I think he was bothered by the fact that my family wasn't there either.
I did get a few text messages from my family, wishing me luck, or asking me how I did. My dad even called and left a message. I just couldn't bring myself to call him back. My body was exhausted, and I was, admittedly, upset, and I didn't want to ruin the success by thinking about who wasn't physically there to cheer me on.
I'm sure the dissappointment will fade, and eventually I'll understand that I don't need a huge cheering section to be successful. I just need the reliable, and select few (ahem, Joe, Laura, Sarah) to support me.

2:24!

I did it, I ran 13.1 miles. I'm actually a little teary-eyed as I type this. It's something I worked really hard for, and to attain a goal is so fulfilling. Running in general has not come naturally for me, but oh how I love it. Sure this overwhelming sense of accomplishment is peppered with thoughts like, I wish I could have been faster, I wish I trained longer, but overall I'm just happy I did it. And I didn't get the hiccups, not once.

The course was promoted as fast and flat. I'd like to know what elite runner would consider what we did flat. There were several hills, including one that took nearly a mile to level off. I had thought I trained well for the hills, but I don't think I could have prepared for it. I had to walk that last few hills.

The humidity played a role as well. In CT we haven't had the best weather, so I've been running in cool temps and rain most days. Which I can't complain about, I actually prefer to run under cloud cover. But all excuses aside I just ran to finish. AND I DID :)



This is a picture of my best friend Laura and I just after completing it. Well, it was just after I completed the half. She's super fast and had finished several minutes before.

This is Laura and I in front of my favorite ice cream shops of all time, Goodie Basset. For dinner we feasted at Barcelona on tapas and wine. (2006 Melipal Malbec is one of my new favs.)

Some of the songs from my playlist:

Great DJ by the Ting Tings

Dance bailalo . . . Kat Deluna

I like you so much better when you're naked . . . Ida Maria

Whoo! Alright Yeah . . . The rapture

Hook me up . . . The Veronicas

LoveGame . . . Lady Gaga

Single ladies . . . Beyonce

I got you dancing . . . Lady Sovereign

We run this . . . Missy Elliot

So fresh, so clean . . . Outkast

Don't trust me . . . 3OH!3

Thriller . . .MJ

One week

One sign that I'm nervous about something is hiccups. Neverending gut bursting hiccups. For example, weeks before my wedding I had quite a few "to-dos" to check off. I thought I was handling it pretty well until the hiccups came. It's not just a few hiccups, it's a day of hiccups. A few months ago I had a serious conference that I helped coordinate. The weekend before I left I was a mess. I couldn't speak through the episodes because thespasms were so painful.
Now that there is one week to go before the half marathon, I'm anticipating some rough hiccups. I think about the half and my heart starts to motor. My stomach does gymnastics flips and turns, and still no hiccups. I can feel the anxiety building in my chest. I try a few deep breaths but the exhale is more like exasperated sighs. I don't know why I'm so anxious. I know I'll finish. I know my wonderful husband, and best friends will be at the finish line, but the thought of 13 miles makes me dizzy.
Hopefully after a few long runs and solid rest days I'll feel better about everything. You can't cram for this test. You're either ready, or your not. I've run between 20 and 25 miles every week for 8 weeks. Perhaps my body is ready, and that's why the hiccups haven't come. One can hope.

Growing Moss

My pastor and I shared a brief conversation on Sunday. I mentioned wanting a little sunshine. He responded that it had been raining so long that we were all growing moss. Four days later and we've had one day of sun, and the only thing I'm growing is miserable.
When I get into a funk like this, I try hard to be optimistic. I try to keep it to myself and not drag others down. It seems harder then ever to find the positive today. I'm blessed in so many ways. I have an amazing husband who is kind, gentle, supportive, all the best things. I return to a beautiful home every day. Work, while I'm going through a rough transition time is good. The dogs have been relatively easy to care for lately.
But for some reason I'm still overwhelmed by sadness and frustration. I don't know if it's because I want certain outcomes to be realized. I'm not sure if it's the rainy weather and the fact that I haven't enjoyed sunshine since Memorial day weekend. I am going to try and focus on the positives and hope that the sun comes out soon.

Harpoon 5 Miler

Saturday Joe and I made the trek to Boston for our third Harpoon 5 Miler. This year our friends Jeralyn and Bryan joined us. I lept out of bed at 6 am to get ready. (If only I were as excited at 5 am during the week . . .) Joe on the other hand was not as enthused to leave our plush bed. We took 30 minutes to dress in our race garb and off to Boston we went. If it didn't effect the ability to race, I would have taken some sort of calming pill. I wish I could have harnessed the anxious energy for the race. Joe and I talked it over the night before. I told him I wouldn't be competitive about this race. We were just going for a quick run and then some beer. I had been training for distance for the half marathon, not speed. But I couldn't seem to push that Type A personality aside. MUST DO BETTER THAN LAST YEAR.

We had made it to the brewery an hour before the race start a glaring difference from previous years. There were so many more people. That meant great things for the race itself, but I wasn't as excited about it. Registration has sold out for this race within an hour. After gaining the proper approvals from the city of Boston, they reopened registration to allow 500 additional people in. While this meant our friends were able to join us, I didn't realize the ramifications of what 500 extra bodies, and whatever support system that tagged along with them, were for the event. The lines moved quickly for registration. Although it did become increasingly difficult for the four of us to weave amongst other participants without becoming in ensnarled in the mass of runners. Several race-prep methods later and we were standing within view of the start line. The corral for the start was a bit tight, and we were standing next to the walkers sign. Type A began to rear its ugly head and I wanted to push my way through to at least the middle of the cluster. Remembering I came with a group to just have fun I thought better of it. The starting pistol was barely audible and we only knew it was time to run when the mass in front of us trudged onwards. Knowing that I would just take off, Joe gave a quick slap to my bum and I bolted. I dodged as many people as I could until I could find a clearing, my own 3ft space where I could focus without worrying about someone knudging me. I don't like knudgers, if I see your elbow coming into my space, you will be castigated!

The weather was perfect, about 65 degrees with clouds covering the burning sun. The perfect temps gave me more encouragement to push harder. I've been training in cool weather, a PR was in sight. Bryan and Jeralyn had been training for a half marathon so I had no intentions of keeping up with them. Then I thought that I may have passed them at the start. Was it possible that I was out in front of my group? Now not only was a PR in sight, but so was being the leader of my group. At my first split I had run an 8:30 mile. I had never run an 8:30 mile. I decided I would continue to push until mile 2. I knew there was a hill at 2 so I could at least push till then. The hill came and went without difficulty, as I made the turn that took us to the finish line I caught up with Bryan. He and Jeralyn had been out in front all along. A couple taps on the arm, and a wave for him to pick up his pace and run with me got him going. Should I have encouraged him, I asked myself. Seconds later Bryan and I were running together. It was good because I would have no doubt slacked off if he weren't there. With just a 1/2 mile to go Bryan's began the final push to the finish line. I entertained the idea of just letting him go and dropped about 50 feet back. Motivated by my perfect playlist I picked up the pace and started running harder. I ended up finishing 15 seconds behind Bryan with my best pace for this race, 9:12. My best time in a 5 miler felt like such a reward for all the hardwork I've put into training. I was frustrated by the number on the scale, and my lack of confidence, but this was just the boost I needed.

Joe crossed the finish line soon after and we were off in search of the real prize, Harpoon Beer. I was finally able to taste their newest edition, UFO White. Dare I say that it is better then Blue Moon. The four of us had a really good afternoon of beer in the sun. The only downside to the after-party was that the lines for beer were much longer then usual (500 people longer!) and keg bowling wasn't open. There's a lot to be said about bowling a dented half-barrel down an alley into a collection of other kegs.

We topped of the event with a trip to Mike's Pastry in the Northend. You can't be that close to Mike's Pastry and not go. In fact, I've had thoughts of driving to Boston after a delicious meal because there is no better dessert then a chocolate canolli.