Fortunately this leaves me more time to work on my other venture . . . the farm. Of course I knew that I would have to water the plot daily, and weed frequently, but I had no idea that I would have to combat blister beetles, squash bugs and vine borers (oh my).
It all started with a weeding overhaul on Saturday. I ripped vines and tall grass from the soil with fiery disdain. I moved arduously down the 40' sprawl of vegetation until I came to the grape tomatoes. I was removing the unwanted vines that had precariously wrapped themselves around the stalks of the tomatoes when I noticed the oddest gray and black bug I'd ever seen. We stared at each other for a moment, both assessing the other's threat level. It was then I noticed that it wasn't just one lackluster bug, but a colony of them. They were crawling all over my tomato plants leaving gaping holes in some leaves, and large piles of bug shadoobie on other leaves. (For those of you who don't know Chelsea Handler, she refers to poo as shadoobie, and it's become part of my vocabulary.) This was a code red situation. I picked up a couple of them and chucked them. Even with gloves on I can't bring myself to squish them.
After a the beetle mania subsided, I moved along to the next trouble area, the zucchini. The plant had produced several large delicious zucchini and I was so excited to see what had grown since the last visit. I noticed that the leaves weren't as vibrant as they once had been, and I was nervous that watering them while the sun beat down on them had taken a toll. To my horror, they were actually being mutilated by swarms of little white bugs with black legs. There were enough of these cruddy little things to decimate the crop. I killed what I could and called Joe.
He came down to help and saw all the bugs, but neither of us knows anything about bugs or farming for that matter.
This was a job for google. After a sleepless night of thinking bugs were crawling all over me I set out to dig up whatever information I could. Here's what I discovered.
- Blister beetles can actually cause blisters. Their bodies are covered with a chemical called cantharidin which causes adverse reactions with human skin. Which explains why I had little red welts on my arm after handling the bugs (ok chucking them as far as I could) with my gloves on and them brushing my arm with the glove.
- Squash bugs have several damaging stages of their putrid little lives. They leg eggs on the leaves (easiest thing to remove), then hatch into the little white bugs that start destroy the leaves. Once they mature they become larger brown flat bugs that terrorize the leaves.
- Both bugs, as adults, can be killed by submerging them in a bucket of water. The larva stage of the squash bug, however, can be erradicated by spraying them with soapy water. It's supposed to be the most organic method.
Armed with the knowledge of how to combat these garden pests and the vengence to destroy what was ruining my favorite summer vegetable, I arrived at the farm at 7am. With a spray bottle in one hand, and pail of water in the other I sprayed and plucked bugs till they had all scurried away. Not to be outsmarted by something that doesn't have a brain, I showered the plants with the hose. Several more bugs crept to the tops of the leaves to escape drowning, only to be plucked from the leaves and submerged in the red pail of death.
Only time will tell if the zucchini can be saved, but I'm much more hopeful for the tomatoes.
