I did it. I got out there and pounded pavement unplugged for 45 minutes. It was my first real run since Thanksgiving 2011, and I did it without my headphones. I've been looking forward to the first race for quite some time. I didn't feel right about running while pregnant, but I made sure I walked and kept fit.
While it felt great to get out there, it did feel a bit discouraging to feel like a first time runner again. Before I had Izzy I ran a half marathon and I was so proud of my accomplishment. Two kids later, it felt like the first time I ran a lap around my high school track. Instead of letting the challenge of getting back in running shape get to me, I'm choosing to be excited about setting new goals and surpassing them all over again. Getting to do it all over again means getting to reset the clock. I'll always have the memory of my past accomplishments, but this post baby runner's world means I can enjoy running a mile straight for the first time all over again. I can choose to feel the thrill of running my first race after the baby. I can kick some of my bad habits (like running with a crutch, er I mean headphones) from my past. Hopefully switching gears and focusing on the excitement of being a "new runner" will help get me over the hurdle of my past. It'll be tough to leave the antagonizing wishes to be running as far as my friends. But hopefully with each mile I run, I'll be further from the "runner I used to be" and closer to "being a runner" again.
Just some personal stats that I hope will keep me motivated:
149lbs
3.3 miles - 46 minutes
3 min warm up
1min run - 2 min walk
7 min cool down uphill
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Baby G2 Is Here
Donovan Joseph was born Aug. 11 and weighed in at a mere 9lbs 13 oz. Oh yeah, that's right almost 10 lbs and no prediction from the Dr. this time. I had a great birth experience despite being induced for a second time. (I tease my husband that he has gifted our kids the "late gene" that seems to plague him since both children were induced after 8 days late.) It has been an incredible roller coaster ride since.
As you can imagine, the adjustment from one child household to two has been pretty . . . Challenging. Challenging in an exciting, new, exhausting, feeling like I have a purpose kind of way. First there was the anticipation around Izzy meeting her new big brother. How would she take to being a big sister? Then there was the anxiety of introducing our "little" baby to Willow. And now, 5 weeks later, I'm wrapping my head around how do I balance chasing the toddler and nursing a voracious infant on my own.
Izzy was instantly in love with "baby" when she met him. In fact, it's hard to keep her from disrupting his sleeping and eating because she wants to hold him, or give him paci. Maybe because I'm exclusively breast feeding, but she has yet to try to feed the baby. I knew watching her interactions with him would be adorable, but it literally brings tears to my eyes when she tries to console him while he cries; her sweet little voice repeating my phrases like, I know, It's ok baby, Don't cry. Her little eyebrows go up in the center with real concern for her baby brother. And I'm super spoiled because she's such a helper. She insists on throwing away diapers, or retrieving things that are just out of reach for me. Of course we're always with her when she's interacting with Donovan, she tends to pet his head, which is more like a grab. She isn't trying to be rough, she's just too young to control her hand movements just yet. So even though I find myself constantly supervising and hovering, it couldn't be more rewarding to see how happy she is with her brother. And soon we'll see how happy he is with her. Something tells me they will be a dynamic duo who find trouble together.
Speaking of trouble, Willow our 90 lb lovable lab has been just that. She's a doting momma dog who follows me and the baby around without jumping up and snatching the baby's socks. When We brought Izzy home from the hospital there was an infamous incident of Willow taking Izzy's sock from her feet while I was holding her. I raced upstairs and hid in my room with the baby for several months after that. It was so bad that when we had visitors they came to our bedroom and I didn't dare venture downstairs. I thought I was going to give my dog away. (For the record Dakota was awesome and never a cause for concern.) After months of training and confidence building we were finally able to peacefully coexist on the same floor. Willow is amazing with Izzy. She lets Izzy pull at her ears and give her lots of kisses. But I had doubts that brining another baby home would be a smooth transition. I'm not usually so happy to be wrong, but Willow has been a star. She checks on the baby, but doesn't chase me down when I'm holding the baby. She greets all visitors with manners and doesn't knock people over even though she's slightly starved for attention. (I'm just one person after all.) The only tricky thing now is getting her exercise in while taking care of everyone else.
For the first time, I had all four of my babies home with just me to watch over them. Izzy has been going to daycare to keep her routine the same and keep her mentally stimulated. So most days it's me, Donovan, and my two fur babies. On Tuesday, I decided to take a trial run at having all of them home with me. I was nervous that the day would lead to an emotional wreck of a mom, and two neglected children. So not the case! I managed to play with Izzy, teach her to draw circles, feed the baby on demand, get the dishwasher fixed, and spend time with the dogs without anyone having a meltdown. It was encouraging and exhausting, but I was so happy to have done it. I'm thinking of trying again next week. I learned a lot about anticipating what the kids need, keeping them on a schedule, and having purposeful playtime for Izzy.
So while I have not yet had more than 4 consecutive hours of sleep, and I have a to do list a mile long, I'm feeling really great about all the changes. The fear in change is really a fear of the unknown. But as each day passes, and I learn something new, the fear dissipates. I am becoming more confident and comfortable with the change. And someday, who knows, maybe I'll look back and decide that it was easy?
As you can imagine, the adjustment from one child household to two has been pretty . . . Challenging. Challenging in an exciting, new, exhausting, feeling like I have a purpose kind of way. First there was the anticipation around Izzy meeting her new big brother. How would she take to being a big sister? Then there was the anxiety of introducing our "little" baby to Willow. And now, 5 weeks later, I'm wrapping my head around how do I balance chasing the toddler and nursing a voracious infant on my own.
Izzy was instantly in love with "baby" when she met him. In fact, it's hard to keep her from disrupting his sleeping and eating because she wants to hold him, or give him paci. Maybe because I'm exclusively breast feeding, but she has yet to try to feed the baby. I knew watching her interactions with him would be adorable, but it literally brings tears to my eyes when she tries to console him while he cries; her sweet little voice repeating my phrases like, I know, It's ok baby, Don't cry. Her little eyebrows go up in the center with real concern for her baby brother. And I'm super spoiled because she's such a helper. She insists on throwing away diapers, or retrieving things that are just out of reach for me. Of course we're always with her when she's interacting with Donovan, she tends to pet his head, which is more like a grab. She isn't trying to be rough, she's just too young to control her hand movements just yet. So even though I find myself constantly supervising and hovering, it couldn't be more rewarding to see how happy she is with her brother. And soon we'll see how happy he is with her. Something tells me they will be a dynamic duo who find trouble together.
Speaking of trouble, Willow our 90 lb lovable lab has been just that. She's a doting momma dog who follows me and the baby around without jumping up and snatching the baby's socks. When We brought Izzy home from the hospital there was an infamous incident of Willow taking Izzy's sock from her feet while I was holding her. I raced upstairs and hid in my room with the baby for several months after that. It was so bad that when we had visitors they came to our bedroom and I didn't dare venture downstairs. I thought I was going to give my dog away. (For the record Dakota was awesome and never a cause for concern.) After months of training and confidence building we were finally able to peacefully coexist on the same floor. Willow is amazing with Izzy. She lets Izzy pull at her ears and give her lots of kisses. But I had doubts that brining another baby home would be a smooth transition. I'm not usually so happy to be wrong, but Willow has been a star. She checks on the baby, but doesn't chase me down when I'm holding the baby. She greets all visitors with manners and doesn't knock people over even though she's slightly starved for attention. (I'm just one person after all.) The only tricky thing now is getting her exercise in while taking care of everyone else.
For the first time, I had all four of my babies home with just me to watch over them. Izzy has been going to daycare to keep her routine the same and keep her mentally stimulated. So most days it's me, Donovan, and my two fur babies. On Tuesday, I decided to take a trial run at having all of them home with me. I was nervous that the day would lead to an emotional wreck of a mom, and two neglected children. So not the case! I managed to play with Izzy, teach her to draw circles, feed the baby on demand, get the dishwasher fixed, and spend time with the dogs without anyone having a meltdown. It was encouraging and exhausting, but I was so happy to have done it. I'm thinking of trying again next week. I learned a lot about anticipating what the kids need, keeping them on a schedule, and having purposeful playtime for Izzy.
So while I have not yet had more than 4 consecutive hours of sleep, and I have a to do list a mile long, I'm feeling really great about all the changes. The fear in change is really a fear of the unknown. But as each day passes, and I learn something new, the fear dissipates. I am becoming more confident and comfortable with the change. And someday, who knows, maybe I'll look back and decide that it was easy?
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