I've got a craving

I think it's time to plan my next race. Work couldn't be busier. Both my sister and my best friend are getting married, within two weeks of each other. Which means lots of fun parties leading up to those. Meanwhile, I've been super lazy and can't tell you the date of my last long run. So all this adds up to another race :) another half marathon. It doesn't make a ton of sense, but I need a goal. I always need a goal. I'm thinking the Hartford Half in October. But we shall see. Tomorrow's goal is getting up at 530 for a morning run. I hope I can manage that. Oh and I'm giving up alcohol during the week again. My colleague is training for a Marathon, and she isn't drinking at all. We went to a baseball game, not a single sip of beer did she have. And it was free beer. I admire that. I feel like alcohol really messes me up when it comes to running. So I'm thinking of trying this no alcohol thing.

Willow turned 1!

I'm so disappointed that I left my camera in Connecticut. Willow and I made a trip to Jersey to spend some quality time with my mom. Coincidentally Saturday was Willow's first birthday. The little wild pup that we took home 10 months ago has not missed a beat. She's still running on a full tank of energy and leaves me with little time to rest.
In an inadvertent celebration my mom and I took Willow to the marsh for a swim. My mother's neighbor, also a farmer, let us use his 1/2 mile road to the marsh. Vern takes great care of this road. He ordered truckloads of Conchs from Maryland, drove over them with a tractor for weeks and created a pretty crushed shell walk way. Piles of unused conchs lie along the road as evidence of his work.
As scenic as the stroll to the marsh was, we were assaulted by deer flies. My mom aptly said, "It's like running the gauntlet". With bug spray as our shield we trekked down to a beautiful clearing. Willow's tail wagged her whole body as the excitement of the water overwhelmed her. She looked at me and with a gently whine requested to be unleashed. Once her harness was off, I could not keep her out of the water.
Quickly traversing between right and left, she couldn't choose which way she wanted to explore first. Low tide unveiled deep muck patches that Willow sunk into like quicksand. As she darted after a ball lost to the muck she became entrenched in black sand that left her as dark as Dakota. It was as if someone dipped her in a vat of black paint. The top half of her was golden yellow and drenched with salty water, while her lower half was filthy black. I called to her in the hope she would run through the clean water. Seconds later birds took flight at the sound of my mom's scream. Willow hadn't run through the water, she had darted straight in my mom's direction and shook closely to her, flinging muck onto her white pants.
Willow took another dive into the refreshing marsh, and I giggled as my mom gave me "the eye." The pup galloped in and out of the water for another 20 minutes or so and then trotted over to me to let me know she was tired and ready to go home.
Back at the house we hosed her off, brushed her hair and let her soak up the sun to dry off. She may have been free of muck, but she reeked of swamp. A successful trip, and a happy birthday for Willow bean. The only thing that would have made it better is if Joe was there to share it too.

the break is over

After the half marathon I gave the lazy side of me a chance to hang out. Being someone who always has a plan, I don't let this happen too often. But it was time to reward my determined mind, and very tired body with a break. I didn't work out for nearly a week. With the exception of lifting at my work gym. Instead I spent time at home with my pups, and it was blissful. I typically spend any "me time" feeling guilty and never get to fully enjoy it. But boy did I just let go and relax. Peaceful is a feeling that I seldom experience.
My husband and I planned a trip to Maine, and of course I scheduled activities for every minute of it. And I'm happy to report it went nothing like I planned. We slept in, ate tons of food, and really enjoyed just being lazy. Dakota was off at the inlaws, and Willow was at Camp Bow Wow only 20 minutes away. Joe ran with me one morning, but that was the extent of our exercise.
Now it's time to get back to the real world and to running. I have new goals, and my excitment to pound pavement again is building. Today I have a 4 mile run planned. 1 mile to the high school track, 2 miles of speed/interval training, and 1 mile home.
I hope to run a 20k in mid September, and my goal pace is 9m30s. It may not be realistic, but I don't want to be the slow runner anymore.

family support

I have to say, the only thing that dissappointed me about the half marathon was that my family wasn't there. It was awesome to have Joe there. And really wonderful that Laura ran it too. But as I saw people along the course with signs for their kids or siblings or parents, I ached a little for my own cheering section. Instead my step-mother and father thought it would be a good idea to hold my younger sister's middle school graduation party on the same day. Of all the days in June and July, they chose the half marathon day. Now I could argue that I signed up for it months ago, and let them know about it. And they could argue that they didn't remember it was that day. But in the end, I didn't feel like my family cared that I was attempting a major accomplishment in my life.
Kind, sweet, and loyal Joe was there. He snapped pictures of me. Let me lean on him so that I didn't collapse after the race. He pushed me to drink water, and eat something. I can always count of him. And while he didn't vocalize it, I think he was bothered by the fact that my family wasn't there either.
I did get a few text messages from my family, wishing me luck, or asking me how I did. My dad even called and left a message. I just couldn't bring myself to call him back. My body was exhausted, and I was, admittedly, upset, and I didn't want to ruin the success by thinking about who wasn't physically there to cheer me on.
I'm sure the dissappointment will fade, and eventually I'll understand that I don't need a huge cheering section to be successful. I just need the reliable, and select few (ahem, Joe, Laura, Sarah) to support me.

2:24!

I did it, I ran 13.1 miles. I'm actually a little teary-eyed as I type this. It's something I worked really hard for, and to attain a goal is so fulfilling. Running in general has not come naturally for me, but oh how I love it. Sure this overwhelming sense of accomplishment is peppered with thoughts like, I wish I could have been faster, I wish I trained longer, but overall I'm just happy I did it. And I didn't get the hiccups, not once.

The course was promoted as fast and flat. I'd like to know what elite runner would consider what we did flat. There were several hills, including one that took nearly a mile to level off. I had thought I trained well for the hills, but I don't think I could have prepared for it. I had to walk that last few hills.

The humidity played a role as well. In CT we haven't had the best weather, so I've been running in cool temps and rain most days. Which I can't complain about, I actually prefer to run under cloud cover. But all excuses aside I just ran to finish. AND I DID :)



This is a picture of my best friend Laura and I just after completing it. Well, it was just after I completed the half. She's super fast and had finished several minutes before.

This is Laura and I in front of my favorite ice cream shops of all time, Goodie Basset. For dinner we feasted at Barcelona on tapas and wine. (2006 Melipal Malbec is one of my new favs.)

Some of the songs from my playlist:

Great DJ by the Ting Tings

Dance bailalo . . . Kat Deluna

I like you so much better when you're naked . . . Ida Maria

Whoo! Alright Yeah . . . The rapture

Hook me up . . . The Veronicas

LoveGame . . . Lady Gaga

Single ladies . . . Beyonce

I got you dancing . . . Lady Sovereign

We run this . . . Missy Elliot

So fresh, so clean . . . Outkast

Don't trust me . . . 3OH!3

Thriller . . .MJ

One week

One sign that I'm nervous about something is hiccups. Neverending gut bursting hiccups. For example, weeks before my wedding I had quite a few "to-dos" to check off. I thought I was handling it pretty well until the hiccups came. It's not just a few hiccups, it's a day of hiccups. A few months ago I had a serious conference that I helped coordinate. The weekend before I left I was a mess. I couldn't speak through the episodes because thespasms were so painful.
Now that there is one week to go before the half marathon, I'm anticipating some rough hiccups. I think about the half and my heart starts to motor. My stomach does gymnastics flips and turns, and still no hiccups. I can feel the anxiety building in my chest. I try a few deep breaths but the exhale is more like exasperated sighs. I don't know why I'm so anxious. I know I'll finish. I know my wonderful husband, and best friends will be at the finish line, but the thought of 13 miles makes me dizzy.
Hopefully after a few long runs and solid rest days I'll feel better about everything. You can't cram for this test. You're either ready, or your not. I've run between 20 and 25 miles every week for 8 weeks. Perhaps my body is ready, and that's why the hiccups haven't come. One can hope.

Growing Moss

My pastor and I shared a brief conversation on Sunday. I mentioned wanting a little sunshine. He responded that it had been raining so long that we were all growing moss. Four days later and we've had one day of sun, and the only thing I'm growing is miserable.
When I get into a funk like this, I try hard to be optimistic. I try to keep it to myself and not drag others down. It seems harder then ever to find the positive today. I'm blessed in so many ways. I have an amazing husband who is kind, gentle, supportive, all the best things. I return to a beautiful home every day. Work, while I'm going through a rough transition time is good. The dogs have been relatively easy to care for lately.
But for some reason I'm still overwhelmed by sadness and frustration. I don't know if it's because I want certain outcomes to be realized. I'm not sure if it's the rainy weather and the fact that I haven't enjoyed sunshine since Memorial day weekend. I am going to try and focus on the positives and hope that the sun comes out soon.