I think the only time my mind isn’t racing is when my body is. Every waking hour my mind is a turbulent whirlwind of thoughts, emotions, anxieties. They all spin around and I worry constantly whether or not things will fall in place or if I’ve done the right thing. I have second thoughts, sometimes third thoughts about actions I've taken, or comments I made. It’s the way I’ve always been. And there is one sure fire way to quiet my mind, it’s exercise.
I used to lose myself through dance, and now that I don’t have that outlet, I run. It’s as if all the energy put into dissecting my every action powers me through miles and distances I didn’t think I could handle. And while I’m running, my mind is so calm. Sure things pop up, but my focus is so strong. The other week I powered through 6.5 miles. I suppose you could say it had been a busy week. When I was finally home, and exhausted, I was able to breathe in calmly, and know things would be alright. Willow’s out of control behavior didn’t get to me. I regained my patience and was able to calm her down.
It's noticable when I haven't taken the time to focus on a workout. I don't know if my husband has figured out the correlation yet, but I think I'm more difficult to deal with if I haven't gone for a run in a few days. I can't communicate without bouncing around to so many different subjects, or I'm just plain mean. I ran yesterday and the day before, and today I feel, as corny as it sounds, so optimistic. I feel like the puppy will calm down someday. I feel that finishing the basement isn't far off. Or maybe a better position at work isn't far off. Hopefully I can keep this feeling up and get through the day ahead.
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