Memorial Day Weekend on "The Farm"

We had it planned for weeks. A trip to South Jersey to spend time with my Mom. My sister, her boyfriend, Joe and me and of course the pups ventured to the 'pinelands' just off the coast of south Jersey. We had missed Mother's day with my mom. It was the first Mother's Day that we had missed, but we live hours apart and leaving for a weekend with two dogs is nothing short of a challenge. This was our group effort to make up for it.

Joe and I chose to leave after dark with the hope of avoiding Memorial day weekend traffic, and while we didn't sit bumper to bumper, we struggled to keep the dogs (Willow in particular) calm. We tried out a new net that was to keep a properly behaved dog in the cargo area and out of the back see of our Jeep Cherokee. No such luck. Half way through the trip Willow had enough of her freedom and space and plunged through the net, over the suitcases and boxes, and into my lap in the front seat. Thankfully she was right in time for us to pull off to a rest area. After several attempts, and an additional pit stop, to get her to be safe and comfortable she nestled into my lap in the rear passenger seat. Joe had a lovely suitcase as his navigator in the front passenger seat.

It was midnight before we arrived at "the farm" a.k.a my mother's newest house and adventure. We steered the pups to the backyard by lamplight for their last rest stop of the evening. I had to be cautious not to shine the light on the geese, and lonely duck who were penned in at the corner of the yard. Willow has chased many a fowl, and midnight was no time to wrestle her away from her instincts.

I was up at dawn along with the crowing rooster from the property behind my mother's. As daylight rushed across the lawn, Willow and Dakota spotted their new "toys."

Fortunately the geese and duck were guarded by a wire fence. Although I'm pretty sure one of the geese could have held it's own against the nosey pups. I had to chuckle as it spread it's wings, puffed up it's chest, and hissed at the dogs. Intimidating? Not really.

My sister and I went to pick up breakfast at Frog Hollow. It's a small bakery in an older colonial home that would be out of place anywhere else but here. You can smell the cinnamon and sugar from the road. The best item on the menu is a bag of donuts, your choice of either cinnamon, cinnamon and sugar, or plain. And I didn't feel that guilty about eating them because they're so much smaller then an average donut.

Back at the house, with breakfast and coffee cleaned up, Sarah and Steve got to work on the tile in the bathroom. Joe and I were a bit more reluctant to get any work done. We eventually pitched in, but not before a trip to the beach.

Sadly the trip to the beach was cut short when Joe sliced his big toe open on what could have been a shell, but perhaps it was glass. We were engaged in a game of frisbee when Joe stopped short of catching the frisbee to blurt out obsenities. Within seconds the beach was splattered in red. Fortunately the sea water cleaned out the wound until we got him home to nurse Lilli. (My Mom) She really is a nurse.

While Joe spent time with his feet elevated, Sarah and I put up a new fence for the geese. And we managed to do all this in just one day on the farm. We spent the evening at my aunts house for a surprise dinner. She was ready for us, we just didn't know we were headed there for the night.

Waking up the next morning was much more difficult. After a similar morning to the previous day, I decided I would go for a run. The area is nice and flat, and the shoulder of the road is pretty wide. I knew I had to keep up with my training so I thought I would do 5 or 6 miles on Sunday and perhaps my long run on Monday. After five miles I began to realize that the trees and landmarks were no longer familiar to me. At mile 6 decided I should set a course for home wherever that could be. At 7 I finally passed a familiar landmark and knew it would be another 4 miles before I was home. Once I realized I would be doing 2 more miles then I should be at that point in training I started to pray that someone would come find me. They knew I was a novice and that I should be gone longer then 90 minutes. And at 1 hour and 49 minutes I spotted a surf board on a black jeep, with Connecticut plates. It was my sister. She found me. Wawa was all I could mutter. All I wanted was to get to the convenience store so I could by water or a viatmin water. So after 9.25 miles, I was finally back at home, and had to get ready so we could all go out for an early dinner. That was painful. Even more painful was the wicked sunburn I got from the run because I didn't think I needed sunblock. Note to self, always wear and SPF.

After a wonderful dinner at the Lobster House in Cape May we stopped at another "must-go-to while in Jersey" the Custard Slut. It's really the custard hut, but my cousins dubbed it the slut long ago. I was too tired to finish my ice cream and had to call it an early night.

The next morning we went out to a diner for breakfast. There's a trend here. We did not eat home once. My mom is a phenomenal cook, but the kitchen just isn't ready yet. Sarah and Steve left after breakfast, and I was tasked with cleaning out the chicken coup. There are 11 chicks which are about 3 weeks old. We managed to make it to the beach one more time during our trip, but it got rained out after an hour. I suppose we have a whole summer for beach days. But I don't know when I'll get the chance to go again.

fast-paced weekend - but slow ass running

Weekends are a delicate balance between chores around the house, time with friends and family, and activities with the dogs. There seem to be more hours in the weekend this time around. Last night I managed to walk the dogs, run 5 miles, and spend a fun night out with a good friend. A 3 AM bed time made 830 this morning an awful sight. I had to be up to get Willow to Camp Bow Wow for her interview by 10am. I love their maketing of the interview by the way. After parting with my little girl, I ran errands. After I picked up my contacts, I had just enough time to get dressed and make the 40 minute drive to my Dad and stepmothers house. We were celebrating my sisters 25th bday.(How old that makes me feel will be reserved for a separate post.) Joe stayed home so that he could head back to camp bow wow to pick up the exhausted little monster. I left the party with just enough time to change, feed the dogs, and get to the train station. Now I'm on my way to meet up with Joe in the city. We're celebrating a friend's 30th bday. Yay for another late night. I have to be careful bc tomorrow I need to run 7.7 miles, go to brunch, hang out with the puppy, and then go out to dinner to celebrate Joe's mother retirement after 42 years of work. Wow. Hopefully I can relax in sojo next weekend.

Half Way to the Half

Before I started training, the longest I had run without stopping was a little over 5 miles. And that was a major accomplishment for me. This past week I made it through my 7 mile long run, with a decent pace. What was even better is that I didn't feel the agony of the lengthy run the next day. While I may have only been able to do a 5k two days later, at least I could still do it. And last night I took a kickboxing class for cross training.
And while I'm excited to keep up with a training schedule, I wish other effects would come a little quicker. I'm not gonna lie, I was hoping the new workout routine would lead to a bit of weightloss. Maybe 10 lbs in two months. But I stepped on the scale last night and bursting into tears was the first thing I thought of. Thankfully the scale is located in a crowded gym locker room, and I was conscious of the women eyeing me. I dashed into a bathroom stall and took a few deep breaths to gain control.
Another effect I'd love to see, confidence and a boost to my self-esteem. Last year when I trained for the Harpoon 5 Miler I was so confident that I would cross that finish line, and do it with a better time. It also boosted my self-esteem to see the improvements I had made. With six weeks of training to go, I don't know if I'm going to make it. And perhaps if my self-esteem was improving, gaining a few lbs wouldn't be as big of a deal to me.
While these things may be slow to happen, one benefit I've noticed is that I'm able to just lose myself in running again. It's been a while since I could clear my mind of the problems I'm dealing with and just finish happy. To me the feeling created by clearing my mind for 45 minutes is so uplifting. It helps me to face another day. For now that is my motivation to make it through the next work out.

H1N1 - Really?

I am 100% supportive of precautionary measures to protect oneself from becoming ill. What I don't support is the hysteria that the media is creating. Each media outlet directs people to the CDC website for infromation on swine flu, and information on how to protect yourself. Only after reading what the CDC posted do I feel at-ease. I will not argue that it is regrettable that people have died from the swine flu, and people continue to fall ill. What I find unneccessary are the constant warnings we see every moment of the day. Do not fly, do not use public transportation. Granted our world is much more global now, then it was for the 1968 flu pandemic, and could increase the possibility of spreading infection faster. But being global also helps us get the news out faster, so that people can protect themselves. I had a brief conversation with a coworker who was contemplating a trip to Key West before the outbreak. Now she doubts that she will go. I asked her not to make up her mind until she visited the CDC website so she can see the information I saw. To be fair, she has a 4 year old son, who's immune system isn't the strongest. I could see the fear in her eyes. The fear that her world could be rocked by an illness that has been around for a while.
Again, I don't mean to belittle what is going on. In Mexico, this is a very serious illnees. Not only do citizens have to be nervous they will catch the deadly virus, but they also have to deal with a host of side-effects. For example, restaurants have closed down, and grocery store shelves have been emptied. Schools are closed and parents have to find child care. These are realities the people in Mexico must deal with. But as a Connecticut resident, I'm not sure that this pertains to me. I worked in the restaurant industry for years. I know how important proper hygene is. If you had an itch on your nose, forget it. You could wiggle it all you want, but you could NOT sratch it. I washed my hands so many times that normal people would think us waitresses were OCD. The only thing I think this media hype might be good for is sending the message to wash your hands. It's that simple, wash your hands. And people should do it ALL the time, not just when there is mass messages of the risk of pandemic. Catching some sort of virus is always a risk. And the risk to spread any virus is always real.

James "Jimmy" Baily

Jimmy Baily was my dad's cousin. But he meant much more to so many people.

To do him justice, I want to capture what his students, colleagues, friends and family had to say about him at his wake. His son spoke on his behalf, briefly, he said that while Jimmy was not his father, he always called him Dad. And kindly invited people to their house following the service. Shortly after, a beautiful young woman with dark curly hair captured the attention of the room. She worked with Jimmy, part of his work family. She told us how kind Jimmy was, how he was the man you went to when you had a problem. Jimmy had the stregnth to support his coworkers, and the patience to guide his students.

Four young men came to the front of the room. They had similar stickers on their chests, a picture of Jimmy. The leader got up in front of everyone because, "B would have said get up there and talk about me son." And we laughed. He then told us how he wouldn't be the man he is today if it weren't for B. "Where I'm from, we don't have male role models," he said quietly. B was the male role model for his students. He exemplified how men should act. To be that sort of inspiration in someone's life is nothing short of amazing. He was an inspiration for these boys, and the women in his classes.

There were others who gave the audience greater detail as to who Jimmy was to them. But just as special were the people who didn't speak to everyone. Perhaps because they were overwhelmed with grief. My father was one such person. We shared in a lot of memories with my father because we were there for it, but he shed a little light on the times we weren't there. Like when my Dad was 19 and Jimmy got him his first job. It may have been at a car wash, but it was the first kindness of many that my Dad recollected.

It really pains me to write that he is gone now. That the esophogeal cancer that was discovered just months ago consumed his body. But I try to focus on the fact that he'll never really be gone. He'll live on in my memory as my Dad's best friend. Someone who always made my sister and I laugh. And he'll be in the hearts of so many as a friend, and leader. Someone who taught them to be a man. Someone who gave them the best advice they ever got.

My Mind Isn't Racing When My Body Is

I think the only time my mind isn’t racing is when my body is. Every waking hour my mind is a turbulent whirlwind of thoughts, emotions, anxieties. They all spin around and I worry constantly whether or not things will fall in place or if I’ve done the right thing. I have second thoughts, sometimes third thoughts about actions I've taken, or comments I made. It’s the way I’ve always been. And there is one sure fire way to quiet my mind, it’s exercise.

I used to lose myself through dance, and now that I don’t have that outlet, I run. It’s as if all the energy put into dissecting my every action powers me through miles and distances I didn’t think I could handle. And while I’m running, my mind is so calm. Sure things pop up, but my focus is so strong. The other week I powered through 6.5 miles. I suppose you could say it had been a busy week. When I was finally home, and exhausted, I was able to breathe in calmly, and know things would be alright. Willow’s out of control behavior didn’t get to me. I regained my patience and was able to calm her down.

It's noticable when I haven't taken the time to focus on a workout. I don't know if my husband has figured out the correlation yet, but I think I'm more difficult to deal with if I haven't gone for a run in a few days. I can't communicate without bouncing around to so many different subjects, or I'm just plain mean. I ran yesterday and the day before, and today I feel, as corny as it sounds, so optimistic. I feel like the puppy will calm down someday. I feel that finishing the basement isn't far off. Or maybe a better position at work isn't far off. Hopefully I can keep this feeling up and get through the day ahead.

My Nana

I called my Nana today. It was out of the blue, but I’m sure she expected to hear from me soon. My father’s mom is quite an incredible woman. She’s a devout catholic who pours all of her energy into everything she does. And she has lung cancer. It breaks my heart. Nearly 4 years ago my Papa passed away from myriad health problems. The one time firefighter struggled for the last few years of his life. My Nana was by his side, every step of the way. Even if she hadn’t been a nurse, she still would have been devoted to caring for him. It saddens me now because she doesn’t have someone to support her through chemo and radiation.

She has six children, and each of them visit her frequently. My aunt, who lives in Florida, has been to CT twice since she was diagnosed. That’s two more times then last year. My uncle, who resides in TX, makes visit near monthly. And I know she considers herself blessed that they want to be there for her.

There are a total of fourteen of us grandchildren. The youngest is four, and while he doesn’t understand what’s going on, he loves to visit her. I kick myself for not visiting more often. I’ve been selfish with my time, and I should spend more of it with her. She’s quite the character after all. She’s charitable with her spirit and gives her time to the church. She’s more then crafty with the clothes she’s created. My Nana loves each of her grandchildren and thinks of us all the time. And she certainly is generous with her opinions. Sometimes I think we get her riled up because when she’s adamant about something she breaths fire. That sort of passion isn’t seen in many these days.

While she may take center stage when she defends something she believes in, she never asks for attention. I think I might have to show her a little more attention though. For weeks I’ve been trying to come up with a charity to raise money for when I run the Fairfield Half-Marathon. Running to support a local cancer foundation just might be a way I can show my support for her.