Dance & Fitness Class Schedule - Westport - Studio 44 Dance & Fitness

Dance & Fitness Class Schedule - Westport - Studio 44 Dance & Fitness

I'm so happy to have found a new dance home. It's been 4 years since I've danced with such beautiful dancers and great teachers. There aren't many things that can get me to spend time away from Izzy, but this is great for me time.

My morning

Not that it was out of the ordinary, but I'm frustrated just enough to write about it. Hum flight of the bumblebee in your head while you read for dramatic effect.
4:20 a.m. Wake up to a crying child for the second time. Nurse her until she is quiet and can fall back to sleep.
4:45 a.m. Realize that the baby is not planning to fall asleep. Kick the dog out of bed and let the baby play between me and the hubs in an effort to get a few more Zs.
6:30 a.m Wake up later than planned next to the sleeping baby who looks too comfortable to be disturbed.
6:45 a.m. Start to pump. Baby wakes up, the hubs changes her diaper and gets her dressed for daycare.
7:15 a.m. Run through the shower while the baby cries in the pack & play.
7:45 a.m. Baby's in the car seat while I pack her lunch. Drop a jar of baby food on the tile floor that shatters. Grab the dogs rush them outside. Struggle with Willow to get her to stay outside. Run back to the kitchen clean the mess of glass and fruit gook. Vaccuum.
7:55 a.m. Dart out of the house to get Izzy to daycare.
8:10 a.m. Head back to the train station. Catch the local just so I can sit down for a bit.
8:55 a.m. Glad I took the local because it got in before the express. Even more glad that I'll make my 9 a.m. meeting in time.
9:00 a.m. Get email that meeting is canceled.

Really?

Value the win

Shame on me for spending so much time focusing on what to change next. Identifying the problems is helpful, but it shouldn't take up all my time. So it's time to celebrate the successes. There are two big things that come to mind. First, I got a promotion! I have been giving my job everything I've got for the past few years and it has paid off! I'm now a manager and I feel like I've found new confidence in my abilities. Of course it comes with challenges, but thats for another post. For now I'd like to pause and reflect on how rewarding it is. I finally feel like I'm on the same level with my colleagues, friends, even my husband.
The second success that I'd like to give myself a little credit for, I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I've been feeling better about myself, but it really stood out to me today when I put on one of my size 6 dresses and there was so much fabric puffed put over my smaller curves. I'd like to lose another 10lbs, but I'm really happy to be where I'm at 8 months after giving birth.

Finding mom friends

Being one of the older gals in my circles of friends, I've always lead the way on new adventures. I was the first one to get my license (and a car), first one to get married, and now first one to have a baby. All very incredible milestones and I was very much supported by some incredible people. But it's not always easy doing things first. I didn't have a friend to provide wisdom and guidance when I was failing to figure out a challenge. And now that I'm a new mom, I really could use the help.
I've been struggling to make mom friends, partly due to the fact that I love my friends and feel like I'm "cheating" on them in finding a new community. Another hinderance is my damn timidness. That's right, I'm down right shy. Put me in a big group and my voice gets lost in the chorus.
Case in point - I joined Mommy's Time Yoga, a yoga class for new moms and their babies. The first class was fantastic, my little Izzy slept for most of it, but it was a small group and I felt great speaking out when Linda - our yoga leader and pseudo den mother for pregnant women in our area - would ask the group questions. Not only did I participate, but I enjoyed it. I joyfully went to the next group class hoping for the same experience but was so turned off because the room was clogged with outgoing personalities. They're all wonderful people, but I couldn't compete. I dragged myself to the next one hoping to give it one more shot. This time I decided I would make every effort to make connections. And I did! One of the moms who I took prenatal yoga classes with sat right next to me. It was the first time I got to me her beautiful little girl. Things couldn't have gone better, and I even made facebook friends with a few of the women. Very encouraging.
So now I have to keep the ball rolling. Linda suggested we get a stroller club together. What a great idea, the sun is finally shining and what better way to spend a morning than walking with a group of women and their babies. It's times like these that I'm very thankful for facebook.

Not feeling so hot

No, I'm not sick. I just don't feel . . . attractive. I'm sure it's normal to feel this way after having a baby. But it would be out of character for me to be O.K. with that excuse. It's been almost 6 months since Izzy was born, and I'm really starting to hate my mushy middle, my clothes still don't fit and I'm dreading donning a bathing suit.
I've always been able to battle the weight by hitting up the gym, or running more. But now there's two new obstacles; 1) caring for Izzy and 2) breast feeding. Caring for Izzy is one of the highlights of my day after fighting through work projects. I want to spend every moment with her. Watching her giggle at Willow, seeing her slurp her cereal. I know pushing her in a stroller would count as exercise, but it doesn't yield the same quality time as tickling her tummy and dancing like a fool for her laughter does. And breast feeding is amazing and I'm so fortunate to be able to do it while working like a madwoman. But I'm ALWAYS hungry, and I'm fearful that if I don't eat enough my supply will deplete.
So how do I get my body back now? I suppose I have to start with the obvious. Eliminate the not-so-healthy but oh-so-yummy things from my diet. I tend to reward myself with treats (kind of like Willow) when I'm at work. It's as if having an oreo at 3pm somehow made the time spent away from Izzy bearable. Then there is the drinking on the weekend. No cause for alarm, I'm talking about one drink a night. But it's like watching your budget. If I saved $5 on every grocery trip for a month, I could buy a cute spring blouse. Saving 100 calories each weekend night (no beer) could lead to that blouse being a size small instead of a medium.
And now the part that I'm not sure of; working out. When will I find the time? How much can I do without it leading to eating more to keep up with the breastfeeding? I know 5:30 a.m. would work since it's just after Izzy's morning feeding, but how will I have enough energy to stay up, work out, and get through the rest of the day? And then what happens if I do too much and need to consume more calories to balance it out?
So here goes nothing. Today, I'm going to make three "resolutions."
1) No more sugary snacks.
2) No more alcohol, I did it for 9 months, shouldn't be that hard to do it for 1 month.
3) Stay up after Izzy's morning feeding and work out.
Hopefully commiting them to writing will somehow make me more accountable.

Izzy ate solids!

Or at least I think she did. With the amount of creamy cereal spewing out of that cute little mouth, I doubt any made it's way to her belly. But watching her experience a spoon with food on it was quite the spectacle. We have video, and my husband and I share some giggles, but it was hard to tell if she really loved it.
First a complaint. I don't love the Graco highchair we have for her. It's difficult to set up with one hand. And if you're a parent, you know that 80% of the time, you only get to use one.
Once we got her strapped in we put a new bib on her. (The front of it reads "My mom is hotter than your mom," courtesy of my sister Sarah.) I had been putting her in the highchair for a few minutes at a time each day for the past week. I didn't want the whole experience to be a shock. She relaxed after a minute or two and I pulled out the plastic bowl and spoon. Her eyebrows went up and mouth opened super wide in excitement. She even did her little excited dance, her dance reminds me of Willow's happy dance where her tail wags her whole body.
Since the cereal was mixed with breastmilk it really didn't taste all that different to her. It was more of a texture thing combined with a new untensil. She had to figure out how to get the food down without the aid of a bottle. And she didn't get much. After about 10 minutes of experiencing the novelty of the spoon she started to get really frustrated. I would too if I was tasting something great, but started to have hunger pains.
Even though we started the process before it was mealtime we could tell she was super hungry. So we quickly wiped the excess cereal from her nose, cheese, and forehead and I took her out of the chair to feed her the normal way.
It was pretty amazing to see her experience a new way to eat. I can't wait to try out different foods and capture each smirk and spittle.

The Ultimate Baby Authority

Who is the ultimate baby authority? Is it my pediatrician? My mom? A crazy relative who just happened to pop out three children? Lately it seems like everyone has not just an opinion but the opinion on raising Izzy. Perhaps I've been spared the overwhelming onslaught of critiques and caustic questioning for the first five months of Izzy's life. But lately I've been hearing a whole lot of "You did what?!" or "That's not the way to do it." Or maybe it didn't dawn on me that so many people were giving their 2 cents (shouldn't I be rich by now?) It finally struck me this weekend that there were one too many people giving me direction on how to raise the little baby who I carried for 9 months.
Family and friends, many of them mothers, had gathered for my sister's baby shower. By no means am I a selfish mommy, I liberally pass Izzy to almost anyone. What I didn't expect was for people to snatch her, mid-diaper change no less. At one time I could anticipate the "friendly suggestions" on how to improve my diaper changing techniques. But I had no idea that fending off snatchers was a full contact sport. Too bad I left my helmet at home. "This is how you do it," started one mom as she pushed me aside to demonstrate. Really? After 5 months you don't think I figured this out? At one point I just had to give in, I was there to throw a shower for my sister. After two hours of watching Izzy being passed like liquor stolen from a locked cabinet amongst teenagers, I finally got her back. Maybe it was in my head, but I swear she glared at me until her next nap.
We had another family event on Sunday and this time Izzy was meeting some of my aunts and uncles that she never met before. I dodged the occasional suggestion and danced around topics I didn't want to discuss until it was bottle time. I found a relatively quiet spot and sat with Izzy while she tried to fill up on the pumped liquid gold. Within seconds a crowd formed and I hoped Izzy would chug the bottle so we could avoid critique. A family member, who shall remain nameless, thought it would be a good idea to tickle Izzy's defensless little feet. At first I quietly urged the tormentor to stop. As the attact raged on, another family member began to chide me that it was time to burp Izzy. Thinking that her feet would be out of reach while I burped her, I strategically threw Izzy onto my shoulder and gently patted away. A quiet little burp escaped and I turned her around to give her more of the bottle. And just as she turned she spewed milk and saliva everywhere. This wasn't just some little spit up, this was projectile cream, and sent in the direction of the tickler. With eyes that could kill I glared at the tickler, words were not needed. The tickler quickly made her escape. As she escaped my chiding aunt quickly accused me of not burping her soon enough. Although, in the same breath she also accused the tickler saying that tickle is torture to babies.
That's just a snipet from this past weekend. I know I need to not take things so personal, but when the "guidance" is coming from all directions it's hard not to feel inadequate. I need to work on my confidence as a mother.